As regular readers will have gathered my grandchildren are an endless source of inspiration when it comes to this blog! So often God speaks to me through them, and usually it is a really timely word. Today is no different.
A spirit of independence
Our eldest grandson is almost 5. He is at school full time and growing up quick. One of the signs that he is growing up is that he is definitely developing a very strong will. A spirit of independence is emerging – a demand to have things his way. Sometimes what he asks for is reasonable and we can accommodate his wishes. Other times his demands are far less reasonable, and even non-sensical to our adult understanding. We can’t magic up a replacement when he refuses to wear the jumper his mum has packed into his bag. It may not be the jumper he wants to wear – but until we take him home, it is what he must wear. Or get cold.
His frustration sometimes shows itself outwardly. There are loud tears and even a bit of thrashing about. He can’t, or won’t, hear what we are saying when we try to explain why he can’t have exactly what he wants when he wants it. Does it mean that we don’t love him? Of course not. Does it mean that we don’t want him to be happy? No. It just means that he has to accept that not everything is going to go his way.
Things don’t always go the way we want
Life is like that. As we grow older, more and more we have to accept that things don’t always go the way we want them too. We have our own desires, our free will, our independence, our ability to make choices for ourselves. But still we don’t always get what we think we want, even when those are good things.
We have a Father in heaven who loves us intimately, and cares deeply for us. He loves to bless us and give us good things. He also created us with free will, the ability to make independent choices and decisions. Sometimes we get it wrong. We take the wrong path or ask for the wrong things. Sometimes difficult things happen to us, or we have to experience going without the things that we think will make us content.
There are times when I have cried loudly, thrashed about a bit, railed at God. Usually, it is when I just don’t understand. Like my grandson, my understanding is limited. I struggle to see why I must endure unpleasant things. Why suffering must come to me or those I love. I know God knows why, that He sees the bigger picture, that His ways are higher than mine. And I have had to learn to trust Him, even when there are no answers.
Tantrums only hurt me
I have just navigated a season of loss with God. It has been tough, and healing is still in progress. During this time, I haven’t screamed and cried much at God, even when it really hurt. Through previous life experience I have learnt that reacting that way doesn’t actually do me any good. Just as my grandson’s tantrums only really hurt him. I am the one who suffers more if I don’t deal well with disappointment. If I do have a moment of anger or frustration, I know that God will be patient with me. He looks on in love and waits for me to work it out. If I sit in the negativity, I sacrifice the peace He is offering me. My self-pity steals my joy and can lead to hopelessness and despair.
Trusting God to know what is best
Our loving Father in heaven knows that we can’t always have all that we want. He knows that we are going to have to endure hard things, have our independence curtailed. He knows and He cares. I love my grandson, and I want him to give him everything that he asks for. I also know that it wouldn’t be healthy for him if I did. Isn’t it good that we can trust a perfect Father to know what is for our best and what is not?
After the storm has passed there is a quiet resolution. A cuddle and a few soft words and everything is settled. Our boy knows that us loving him doesn’t mean that we will always give in to him. He remembers all the love (and the things) that we have lavished him with already. He loves us and still wants to be with us.
I don’t want to be independent
I would love life to always be pain-free. Just this week we have had some more sad news. Grief has resurfaced, and the questions threaten. I have decided not to scream and rant at God, I need His peace too much. I need His loving presence close by to help me, and those I love, navigate this storm. I need to hear His soft words of comfort. He knows that I don’t like it, that I wish it could have been different. But I don’t want to be independent at the moment. I want to be fully dependent on Him, and that means using my independence, my free-will to choose to trust Him with it all.
Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Psalm 62:8
Joy Margetts is a published author and blogger. Her books are works of Christian Historical fiction. Set in medieval Wales against the backdrop of Cistercian abbey life, they tell stories of faith, hope and God’s redemptive power.
She has also written two non-fiction devotionals. More information on Joy, and her books can be found here
